170 - Time

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 23:53:41 GMT

"Now you're talking to me, baby. That I like. Keep it coming."

"Don't call me 'baby'! I'm not your baby."

"Not yet, but you gotta give me some time."

One thing about Tony, though, is he has a unique perspective on time. While myself and most people I know can deal somewhat comfortably with the present, Tony has a way of making it seem like he knew all about the future. Time would always be on his side. He alone could control time so things he wanted came his way, while the rest of us had to wait and see what time would bring us.

When I was younger, time would go slow when you wanted it to hurry up, and go too fast when you were enjoying something and wanted it to last.

But living with Tony is like living in a time warp. As soon as he would say something, time stood still until all the right elements, people, and whatever slowly slipped into the right place. And that would be whatever he wanted. And so time continues on in this way.

Muse: Elvira Hancock
Fandom: Misc. Movies/"Scarface"
Word Count: 155 (not counting quotes)

169 - Fragile

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 15:48:53 GMT

Lately I look around me and everything seems so fragile. The house we live in is beautiful, but it's like living in a museum. There's so many items made of crystal that although they're beautiful, you're almost afraid to pick them up and look at them. Even the cars we have are expensive, I'm almost afraid to take them out for fear of some idiot bumping into me and damaging it. Then if I were to come home after something like that, Tony's emotions are so fragile, that from day to day, minute to minute I don't know if he'll be understanding or pissed off.

I think back to the day I got married and I really believed it was going to be a new life. In my first relationship with Frank, we never really did anything together - just him and I. With all of his men constantly coming in and out of the house, he always insisted I looked perfect and never got involved in the conversations. Then when Tony and I got married, and we spoke about having children, just like any woman it was something I've dreamed of since I was a little girl. Then there was that night at the restaurant; when he accused me of not being able to have kids. The truth of the situation is that I wonder if he would be there, what kind of interaction would he have with the kids, and how long would he be alive? What kind of a life would that be? It seems to me that life itself would be fragile; not knowing which person who comes into the house next would actually be a threat.

How can I go on living like this? My nerves are a wreck, but yet I have to pretend everything is just wonderful. And just like with Frank, I'm expected to look a perfect ten 24/7. And if I do spend some time putting myself together, I'm ridiculed about the time it takes. So I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't. Oh, everything around me is starting to seem like it could be so easily broken. My dreams, my heart, my self-esteem, and my future.

Muse: Elvira Hancock
Fandom: Misc. Movies/"Scarface"
Word Count: 369

Elvira "Elvie" Hancock

170 - Time

169 - Fragile